Moston Brook AFC

AMSTERDAM 2007

Written by Dave Kinder

MOSTON BROOK IN EUROPE - AMSTERDAM 2007

Thursday 3^rd May

For the second year on the run, we headed off the Amsterdam for our annual tour. With two flying over, 23 others met up early in the Bluebell for the obligatory full English and a few beers. Setting off for Newcastle in 5 cars, Fernsy as normal, went off first, with the rest of us following in a mini convoy. Travelling down in Kinder's car with Barry Rogers was certainly an experience given Kinder's built in DVD player and Barry's specialist viewing material. We spent the whole trip down the motorway, with other cars pulling up alongside us to get a look. Arriving at Newcastle in around two hours (would have been quicker but for Beanhead's weak bladder); we met up with Fernsy and co in a local pub near the ferry station for a few more beers and then headed off to catch our ferry. No pep talk from security this year and we board the ferry quickly and all head off to our rooms to drop off our gear. Unfortunately for me, I get lumbered with Rogers and Kinder and in the end Paul Newsome, after he moaned so much to Danny Jackson that he wasn't in with his carer Barry Rogers. We all met up in the bars, to find some of our party playing bingo in the main hall. After a thrilling game, Paul Mcloughlin ended up winning the pot (can't remember how much). A few of us head off to get some food but after looking at some of the prices in the restaurant, we decide not to blow all our weekends funds and head off to the sandwich shop for Baguettes and Hot Dogs. Some of the richer members of the party do enjoy three courses in the restaurant. After filling our stomach with something to soak up the beer, we take up our places in the main bar and start to enjoy the entertainment. Being Moston Brook, we have to get actively involved with Johnny Munson being used as a ventriloquist on stage and Joe Ryan doing his Debbie McGhee bit during a magic show. When the main bar begins to close we head off the resident disco and enjoy a few more beers. We'd all had a few by this time and some of us end up on the dance floor. What was funny though, was that we were the only people in there. Paul Newsome decides he is not happy with the tunes the DJ is playing, so he puts his i-pod on and starts dancing on his own to the Artic Monkeys. A few start to get a bit peckish so Rogers and Crumpy start to rob some hot dog sausages to tide us all over. The disco closes and most headed off to bed, some stay up to play cards. Tes isn't happy when he loses to Danny Jackson again and storms off, only having to come back to get his key from Edgy. I get sick of losing my money to Danny and head off to bed.

Friday 4^th May

After enduring Barry, Kinder and Paul's snoring all night (I can talk?), I awake to sight of Barry Rogers strutting around the cabin in his boxer shorts. Kinder decides it time for a shower, he gets a shock though as he is joined in the shower by Barry. It doesn't faze him though, as he just continues as if this happens to him all the time. He must be used to it, from when the nurses have to bath him in the home. We all meet up at the coffee shop before disembarking. We arrive in Amsterdam on time, and get on our coach to the city. At central station, we split up, some dropping their bags off at the hotel and heading out, others going straight to McDonalds for a bite to eat. After a few beers in the nearby Irish bar we decide to head back and see if our rooms our ready. We arrive and see that the hotel is still being built and were being palmed off in some council flats down the road. Taking one look at their room, Tes, Edgy and Johnny head off to reception to complain and do end up getting a so-called upgrade. I think their claims of plasmas, leopard skin wallpaper and diamond encrusted bathtubs are a bit far fetched though. Our rooms aren't much better and the Mount Everest like staircases are a killer now, so they are going to be impossible when we are pissed up later. Paul Newsome complains to reception about his asthma and various other ailments and they obviously feel sorry for him, and move him to the main building. The rest of us decide to slum it out, in what affectionately became known as he drug den. After resting in our room for a while, most of us meet up in the bar of a nearby hotel (ours isn't built yet). After a quick beer, half of us head of for food in a nearby bar. After around twenty minutes it becomes apparent to us that we had actually walked into a gay bar, hence the name of it, ‘the two sisters'. We must have stuck out like a sore thumb though, especially with Joe wearing his pink T-shirt, flowery shorts and new blonde Mohican haircut. It is not long until Joe is being chatted up by a local man. Tes offers to pimp Joe for 25 euros, but thankfully this seems to scare him off and we are largely left alone after that. Our food arrives and I think a few are a bit shocked when they just receive a load of meat on a plate, with very little else. I had the bright idea of eating my chicken on the smallest table possible and end up dropping it all over myself and the floor, which didn't please the people working there. We eat up, pay and leave as quickly as possible and I think the others in the bar were glad to see us leave. Apparently the OAP's and Danny Jackson head off to an Argentinean steak house where Barry Rogers orders a full cow. Paul Newsome's steak wasn't as big as Barry's and he got less chips so he thought he should pay less. After a feed, and a stroll around the canals we all meet up in what has become known as our ‘local' and beer begins to flow. With the number in the party, inevitably we slowly get split up, and head off our separate ways. This mostly involves walking around the canals and checking out the large number of bars in the local area. After closing time we head off home and it's only when we arrive back that Tes realises that he is locked out and ends up having to sleep on Joe's floor (He won't be the first to have to do that).

Saturday 5^th May

Surprisingly, most of us get up for breakfast in the hotel. It wasn't surprising though that we had to use the hotel next door as our restaurant wasn't built yet. After breakfast, the rest meet us in the hotel reception, all stock up on water, and head off in taxis to the game. We arrive at the ground to see that another game is about to start between two local sides. It turns out one of the teams, only has ten men so Johnny Munson volunteers to turn out for them in the first half. He promptly sets up the first goal and wins a penalty for the second. With their eleventh man still not arrived, I end up playing the second half for them. I make it a Moston Brook treble by making the third goal. Unfortunately bad defending by my colleagues' mean we end up drawing 3-3. The rest head off to the dressing room to find out the teams and for a pep talk from Manager Dave Kinder. Defending a one match unbeaten record in Europe, he resists the temptation to name himself in the team. He starts with Beanhead in goal, Chris Ferns, Mike Crump, Danny Jackson and Mike Melia in defence, McElveney, Munson, Edge and Chris Melia in midfield and Terris and goal machine Joe Ryan up front. This left Kinder, John Ferns and Barry (not again) warming the bench. Last years game was never hard, and a lot of pressure was on Dave Kinder's side to perform this year. I didn't see the first twenty minutes as I was playing in the other game but I did come over just as Johnny was sitting the keeping on his backside and scoring to make it 4-1, other goals coming from John Ferns, Munson again and Terris. As the first half came to a close, our opposition did begin to get back into the game when Danny Jackson put through his own goal and Beanhead was lobbed (a normal Saturday afternoon for Beanhead as anyone who plays in the second team will testify). Now the game was getting a little harder, At the break, Johnny decides to have a go in goal. After making one fine save, he then injures himself in a tackle with an opposition forward. Unfortunately, Beanhead has to go back in goal. We begin to take control of the game and it's a father and son combination that combines well down the right for Chris Ferns to add a fifth. However we again let the opposition back into it and with the scores level at 5-5 Kinder loses his patience and brings himself on to steady things. It certainly works as Edge and McElveney (2) add three more and Terris walks in a ninth. I think the game ended up 9-5 but I can't properly remember. The other goals we conceded were probably dodgy off-side decisions or Beanheads fault. Another victory for Moston on foreign soil but things were not all happy in the camp. Some people were not happy with Kinder's management style and were calling for his head. Party leader Danny Jackson later sacked him and Kinder recruited Chris Melia to be his head of PR. Due to a lack of offers to take the role, Danny offered Kinder the role back, which he promptly refused. Later Kinder broke his silence when he said he was disappointed at his treatment after his 100% record in Europe and that he had not had a rise for the two trips so he would be listening to other offers. So who is going to be the manager on the trip next year? Most will agree that as long as they don't give it Macmillan back, we don't care. So we head off to the club house for a few beers and present our hosts with a Moston Brook shirt. Their manager will probably be using it to clean his house by now. Some of the party head back while the rest enjoy a few more beers with our hosts, before heading back ourselves. Some go back to our so-called hotel for a rest, myself Barry, Paul, Beanhead, Kinder and Danny go to the Irish bar near our hotel. A familiar cry from Beanhead ‘It's your round Kinder'. But no wait, Paul Newsome ‘I'll get them', we all fall on the floor in shock. ‘I think you'll need more than 10 euros though Paul', Barry says to him. It's been a while since he got a round so he's obviously not sure of the prices. After one round, we go back to the hotel, in need of a lie down from the shock. After a rest and a shower, we again all meet up in the hotel bar next door. I head off with the OAP's and Danny for a curry. What's that Kinder and Danny are nearly asleep, must be listening to Chris and Mike Melia going on about family matters. Paul again wants a discount as he had less rice than Barry. We head off to meet up with others and again we head off around the canals and the surrounding drinking establishments. Is that Paul Newsome at the bar again? Mark Roberts is so shocked he faints. Bit harsh, by Paul, going in his pockets and getting the 5 euros back from the drink he dropped though. Again we separate and I end up with the OAP's and unfortunately Beanhead and Kinder find us. ‘It's your round Kinder', we hear as they walk through the door. It was slowly becoming Beanhead's catchphrase, I don't think he has quite grasped the concept of rounds. Its was getting quite late and the landlord was looking to close up so we finish our beers and left. We walk through the door, ‘where is Kinder gone', oh....there he is on the floor. Kinder slowly gets to his feet hoping no one has seen it. Sorry Dave but there was quite a lot of people about and anyone that didn't see it was pointed in the right direction by Barry, ‘Look at that silly old c*** on the deck' was the jist of what he said.. We head off in taxis back to the hotel and get to my room and Beanheads already back with the key. After banging on the door for half an hour, I decide to give up the ghost and settle for a place on Joe's floor. Either Beanhead is a really deep sleeper or he was being a t*** and couldn't be arsed answering the door.

Sunday 6^th May

Party members are little slower to get up this morning and less people manage to get to breakfast. After leaving our bags in reception, we head off for one final walk around the city. Mike Melia thinks he is doing a 50k walking race so myself, Macca and Ratty decide to take a detour and go for a pizza. We all meet up back at Central Station later and board our coach to the ferry port. We quickly board the ferry and head off to our rooms. This time, Danny refuses to give his place to Paul and unfortunately for Mansy, he gets stuck with him. Even an impassioned request to Danny that he needs to be in with Barry because he is ill, doesn't work. Sharing with Barry would have probably made him feel worse. We head off to the bar to take our places for the evening's entertainment, minus Paul Newsome. Where is he? The rumours (started by Barry) were that he'd been arrested for breaking into a fiver but these are just rumours. After a call to my bank manager to authorise a loan, a few of us head off for the restaurant for a meal. Barry seems pre-occupied with something, was it the ice-cream or the well-endowed woman with a low cut top, I'm not sure.The crossing was quite choppy this time and it was starting to take casualties, with a few having to go back to their room. It got better as the night went on and most returned later on. After seeing the entertainment list, Macca was particularly disappointed to see there was no bingo this time. We again enjoyed the different entertainment but there was no active Moston Brook involvement. Its closing time and so we all head off to the disco again. It's a little busier this time although less of us went on the dance floor. Beanhead gave us his John Travolta turn later on though and Kinder was straight up there when we got the DJ to play Mika. After the disco closed, a few stayed up by I went off to bed.

Monday 7^th May

After arriving back in Newcastle we all met up again in the coffee shop. After disembarking, most set off for home, our separate ways. I again travelled in Kinders car, we decide to take a detour and get a breakfast. Red is for stop not go Dave. This near miss pays havoc with Barry's nerves and he's told me that he's been to counselling since. We enjoy a breakfast in a service station and then head off home.

Reporter - Smithy

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